I shift slightly in my seat as I hear the first person open the door. They don't say 'Hi'. Maybe I was supposed to say that. Shit. Too late. They're already sitting down on the chair across me so I smile at their smile and pick up my messy, doodle-raped notebook from the desk next to me. How professional.
Okay. Calm down. I want to come across as confident. And I try so hard but I suddenly couldn't find the page where I scribbled the questions I prepared and, holy shit, I'm frantically flipping through the pages like a maniac. Where is it? It feels like someone from an alternate dimension came just right specifically to this moment, went to my question page and ripped it out. They must think this is funny right now. Haha. No.
The person in front of me is looking at me. I can feel it. They're about to ask if I'm alright and I'll give them a passive 'yes' which, really means 'no' but they wouldn't talk anymore after that. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. Fuck this. And fuck you, notebook.
I place the notebook back to the desk and clear my throat. "So…"
I can literally feel the awkwardness seeping out of me and spreading across the room. The person in front of me seems to wait for the rest of my sentence. Don't they get it? That was all I had. I have no continuation to this 'so', it has a similar conversational value to an inverted rhetorical question.
"This weather, huh?" I continue. As soon as those words left my mouth I felt a tug in my stomach, like my body was trying to physically suck what I just said back and keep it locked inside never to be said again. The stranger in front of me looks like a flashbulb lit up in front of their head.
At this point, I've given up and just stay silent. I am starting to contemplate just staring into their eyes until they feel completely uncomfortable. But, as I glance into the notebook next to me I see the stupid fucking questions written right there.
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