A Christmas Story

Though Christmas technically finished a few hours ago (is that cheating? it's cheating isn't it?)

Once there was a boy named Nicholas, and perhaps by the name itself you immediately assume this is a tale about Santa Claus' childhood and sharing etc. but he was just a boy. Named Nicholas.

Nicholas wasn't particularly the nicest child, in fact he was the complete opposite; he hated anything that brought joy to children or old people or even his dog, Ben Kenobi. Often he would go out of his way to cause trouble to people by doing horrible, and unimaginable things (e.g breaking snowmen and stuffing postboxes with peanuts... the maniac).

An old woman then approached him and promised that he would have the worst Christmas of his life ever because the old woman was allergic to peanuts and she couldn't approach her postbox for days. Imagine not being able to read your post— no, I do not want you, my reader, to even suffer the traumatising state.

Christmas was fast approaching, Nicholas-- taking no regard of what the old woman said--continued to spread havoc around the town. Until, alas, it was Christmas morning.

Nicholas walked slowly down the steps... not like he believed what the old woman said, it's just... general caution. Maybe his eyes were slightly closed as he neared the tree, carefully peeking... the sight in front of him elicited a gasp from his mouth...

THE AWESOMEST PRESENT EVER POSSIBLE. It was a Nintendo 64!

But there was no cable to plug it to his screen.

He sobbed, gently hugging the cable-less console as he promised never to be bad ever again.

On the other side of the room, his dog Ben Kenobi happily chewed on the cable.

The end.

Merry Christmas.

Old School Timetable (Year 9 edition)

As I procrastinated from studying by cleaning up my room I found all of my old timetables. It's interesting that this is about 3 years old and how most of those subjects are ones that I detested with every fibre of my being but I now thoroughly enjoy. Also, music was the BEST SUBJECT EVER.

5 stages of studying for an exam

I go through several stages, I'll summarise it in 5 ( as illustrated by internet memes)

1. Optimism. (Blinded by powerful speeches made by your teachers)

"YES! BRING IT ON! I WILL REVISE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!"

2. Planning. (Often this gives a slight sense of accomplishment)

3. Procrastination (this doesn't always include laying around, often I find myself planning unrealistic projects or randomly rearranging and moving massive furnitures and putting them all back)

4. Panic. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

5. Acceptance. (The only thing to be done is study and maybe when you get that paper and open the first page you wouldn't go into a psychotic rage and rip it apart godzilla-style.)

The Stress Song

C Am Em G

I am so stressed

All of my songs start with a C

And I don't even like the sea

I know I should be revising

But I just can't

Open that fucking book

I want to set it on fire

I hope my dog will tear it, take a piss on it

or even do horrific things to it

I know I should be revising

But I just can't

Open that fucking book

I don't even have a dog

This is a shit song

This is my stress relieving song

Silly Things

I was just watching an advert (I must admit the purpose of my watching was not solely for the advert) and I was thinking about how much it would've cost them to build that set and for all the people involved in it to be paid. And what was actually the purpose of that? To display the product and give the company publicity, sure. And a way to do this is to make it interesting to the audience but I thought that wasn't really something I found personally engrossing.

Then I was surfing around the internet

and stumbled upon a gif of a tree with leaves slowly falling down, I looked at this image for about 30 seconds (is that weird? that's weird, isn't it?) and realised this caught my attention more than that expensive advert. I guess that doesn't say much about the quality of the advert but more about my personal weirdness. Why did I find leaves falling down so fascinating, though? Does this suggest I'm incredibly sadistic and enjoy a tree's loss of its parts?

I need sleep.