Sunday 25 December 2011

A Christmas Story

Though Christmas technically finished a few hours ago (is that cheating? it's cheating isn't it?)

Once there was a boy named Nicholas, and perhaps by the name itself you immediately assume this is a tale about Santa Claus' childhood and sharing etc. but he was just a boy. Named Nicholas.

Nicholas wasn't particularly the nicest child, in fact he was the complete opposite; he hated anything that brought joy to children or old people or even his dog, Ben Kenobi. Often he would go out of his way to cause trouble to people by doing horrible, and unimaginable things (e.g breaking snowmen and stuffing postboxes with peanuts... the maniac).

An old woman then approached him and promised that he would have the worst Christmas of his life ever because the old woman was allergic to peanuts and she couldn't approach her postbox for days. Imagine not being able to read your post— no, I do not want you, my reader, to even suffer the traumatising state.

Christmas was fast approaching, Nicholas-- taking no regard of what the old woman said--continued to spread havoc around the town. Until, alas, it was Christmas morning.

Nicholas walked slowly down the steps... not like he believed what the old woman said, it's just... general caution. Maybe his eyes were slightly closed as he neared the tree, carefully peeking... the sight in front of him elicited a gasp from his mouth...

THE AWESOMEST PRESENT EVER POSSIBLE. It was a Nintendo 64!
But there was no cable to plug it to his screen.
He sobbed, gently hugging the cable-less console as he promised never to be bad ever again.


On the other side of the room, his dog Ben Kenobi happily chewed on the cable.

The end.
Merry Christmas.

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