Different Me (A cringeworthy title for a kind of weird post)

You every get that flashback where you seem to see yourself from a third-person perspective? Now that exams had finished I feel like when I look back to myself months ago I was a bit more energetic and talked a lot (perhaps more than humanly necessary). But now, I just don't make much effort.

This had occurred to me more prominently when, on one of my first lessons back, I had walked to my classroom early and it was only me and my teacher in the room. The silence was horrible but she was preoccupied with fiddling with the computer for a few minutes before trying to converse with me (to which I responded with unenthusiastic nodding or shaking of my head).

Upon noticing this, she said a few words that still resonate in my mind and make me shiver and thirsty whenever I think of it. "Did you lose your voice?" to which I responded with an unenthusiastic head shake. No. I didn't lose my voice.

Why did she come to this conclusion? Was it because during those few moments of silence alone, a-few-months-ago-me would've tried to make a horrible joke or muse about the weather as an attempt to break the ear shattering silence? Had I lost a piece of my soul while being under the stress of the exams? Will I ever regain this? Or am I still the same person who just constantly tries to be someone they want to be whilst perpetually feeling inadequate?

Or maybe I stress over smaller, impertinent things in my life because there's no major life changing event happening. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to think alone for a significant amount of time.

Thanks for reading. Nice face.(I could come up with a better general compliment but I think that's pretty good)

You know that feeling (a painfully detailed yet still managing to be vague description of a feeling)

This is very important.

So, a few hours ago from this very moment ('very moment' means right now as I am typing this... I seem to refer to my typing the actual post during the post like it's something important that people should know. Like "oh, I'm thinking of it right now." It's really not that important.)

Wait. Right. A few hours ago one of my Rubik's cube pieces came of and fell into the floor. And it wasn't just a Rubik's cube falling into the floor at that time, it all seemed to happen in slow motion where my room was filled with only the taunting echo of that small plastic piece that I will never find ever again.

I looked at my floor, contemplating whether or not it's a good idea to waste a few minutes trying to find it but battled against it.

A few minutes after that, as I occupy myself with other activities (being vague about said other activities may seem very suspicious but I like to convey some mystery) I find myself thinking about that one piece of Rubik's cube somewhere in my floor. What if I ever want to solve it?

I would only get to solve 26/27 sides. It's not an accomplishment because I could only ever say I have solved 96.296 % of the cube (and that is more difficult to say than 'I solved 100% of the cube')