My revelation about laziness (a journey and self discovery and distasteful diagrams)

I think I may have cracked the code. THE DA VINCI CODE.

Just kidding.

So, as a person with a lot of spare time, I use a majority of this thinking about things like the meaning of life and our purpose as human beings-- basically anything to get my mind off studying for my exams. Whilst in this quest I came up with a reason behind my laziness-- not that I'm implying there is any deeper non-superficial explanation other than my lack of motivation and pure sloth-like characteristics.

Thus, I present a complex diagram:

Figure 1.

As you can see in Figure 1, I would generally not do anything until the very last minute possible. This leads to me overworking in a short span of time, thinking that I've done a lot = a higher assumption for the outcome. However, the outcome is actually very crap and disappointing for me (compared to what I expected) which could lead to thinking that working hard is not worth it.

But that way of thinking is clearly flawed.

(diagrams don't lie)

(especially beautifully articulated diagrams such as that)

Lesson learned. Hopefully.

A small post for my dying laptop.

My laptop sounds like it's dying.

 I don't mean that it's making some sort of terrifying scream of agonising terror upon it's inevitable death.

 For it to be literally dying it has to be a literal living creature (which it is not... that I know of).

 It saddens me slightly to hear what was previously the most quiet and unnoticeable hum has changed into an eerily unsettling buzz.

Late night thoughts (what 90% of my blog consists of)-- also hot people on trains.

My body is hurting although I did not do much other than get on a lot of trains today.

Which brings me to my next topic: hot people on trains. Bear with me, by 'hot' people I do not mean people who are exceeding the average human temperature as this would be a different matter entirely. Also, I feel weird using the adjective to informally describe someone as aesthetically pleasing. But I feel like I've gone far enough with this that I cannot be bothered to back out of my use of the word 'hot', nor do I feel like going back and replacing it with another word because that would just leave me with the first two sentences of this post.

Anyways. Back on topic: Hot  (or aesthetically pleasing) people on trains.

There are so many people on the train. But no one speaks to each other unless they actually know them. I personally do this because it's what everyone else does and I feel like it's some sort of secret unspoken rule. And there are so many hot (aesthetically pleasing) people on trains, but they are all so busy, rushing and/or late for something like everyone else. Which makes the train a difficult area to pursue anyone. The next time you get on a train, observe how guarded everyone is being preoccupied with reading their newspapers and books... avoid eye contact with the person looking entranced with a copy of '50 Shades of Grey'...


I just read back the entire thing and realised it sounds like I was out hunting for hot (aesthetically pleasing) people.

By the way, I was not out on trains hunting for hot (aesthetically pleasing) people...

Pre-Valentines Day Post.

I feel like in terms of the whole 'Valentines Day' topic there are predetermined (I realise I used this word on my previous post... I am very fond of it) responses:

1) I hate it- where I would talk about how this day is pointless and superficial because why would we only treat the person we are romantically involved with 'more special'? Rubbish.

2) I love it- It's a great day— nay, the greatest day.

3) Neutral. - I'm not bothered enough to discuss it.

But it is a thing that is celebrated around the world so avoiding the topic in general would be too tough. So here are some facts you could give people if they ever start a discussion about Valentines day:

- The term 'my/your Valentine' was based on a love letter that Bishop Valentine wrote to the jailor's daughter (while he was jailed) signed "from your Valentine".

- During the reign of Claudius II, 270 A.D he didn't want men to marry during wartime as he believed single men made better soldiers. However, Saint Valentine went against his wishes and performed secret wedding ceremonies.

-Valentine was jailed and executed from the order of the Emperor in February 14.

(source)

Have a happy Valentines day.

(tomorrow.)

(unless you're reading this during Valentines day, then, you know, happy Valentines day today.)

To the lady in Starbucks, who was very sad.

Dear lady in Starbucks who was very sad,

I apologise as I couldn't help but notice the sadness in your face.
Dramatically put, when I opened the door to the fine coffee establishment I caught a wave of sadness being emitted from your side of the room.
Perhaps you were just cold from outside, which resulted in the redness of your nose.

But isn't it kind of weird that it's generally socially unacceptable to approach other people who seem distressed?
 Maybe it's mostly in my mind, like, I had a predetermined assumption that we shouldn't approach random people because we will be shunned.
Still, I felt a sense of unease that people don't seem to notice that you were sitting there by yourself being sad.

  I also know that the chance of you ever reading this specific post and realising it is about you is very, very, very small.
But if you are another individual who feels sad like the lady in Starbucks I hope you feel better.

(also, sorry for staring creepily at you)

(I'm not creepy I swear)

I am :(

I like to think that all humans must somehow must go through these bursts of emotions. The feeling being similar to being randomly punched in the face. Is it called depression? And when I am not in this state of sadness I look back at myself and feel silly because I don't have the same sad feelings that I had at the time.

But it's not completely bad. It's impossible for an individual to be actually, genuinely happy at all times because if that is the case we wouldn't appreciate the feeling and take it for granted. Happy is a side of a spectrum. Unfortunately, the opposite would apply as well. If we were only sad a few times then when it does occur it will hurt like a punch in the face.

Have a nice day. 

Resolutions (another term for the list of modifications I wish to make about my personality but will probably ultimately not be able to)

1) Be more kind, maybe I'll try to do at least one nice thing to someone every day.

2) Be more open to opportunities.

3) Do more productive things other than schoolwork.

4) Be less judgemental.

5) Do atleast one thing that scares me (nothing that would lead to... death or physical/psychological damage)

6) Be positive. (not to the point where it crosses the borderline of being annoying, nor should that positivity be trying to force other people)

7) Swear less.

There! there's a list. Are you happy now? Do you feel satisfied that I've joined this bizarre activity which I don't feel benefits me that much although I do it and will probably continue to do so? Excellent.

 Have a nice day (see resolution number 1)