The Super Amazing Heartbeat-hearer Person.

One of the questions I ponder about quite a lot is the hypothetical "If you could have a superpower/supernatural ability what would it be?"

I hate it so much because I'm often caught off guard when this question is brought up. Not in the sense that I am preoccupied with another activity which prevents me from answering the question, but rather the fact that I hate the person asking it because they expect me to answer immediately with such little amount of time to think about it. (and then I remember it was hypothetical)

Now there are obvious choices like being able to fly (but then you'd have to adjust to a whole new way of traffic and avoid bumping into birds or... airplanes), invisibility (perv), superhuman strength (with this technologically advanced society...seems quite useless) etc.

I think I'd like something simple. I'm too self conscious to want to know directly what people think, however I would be interested in hearing heartbeat-- hold the phone. I have a small hunch that you may be thinking "But that is the worst answer anyone could ever think of on this hypothetical question."Ah, mi amigo you are wrong (well...).

Think about this, when we see someone we like, our adrenaline level increases along with physiological arousal with the given fact that our heart rate would be higher than normal. The same may go if we see someone we dislike, some sort of evolutionary instinct of fight or flight. I could probably hear if there's something wrong with people's health-- except if I was a superhero (or an individual who possesses the supernatural ability of hearing people's heartbeats) it would be difficult to explain or be believed because the conversation would go like this:

me: Excuse me sir/ma'am, I believe I could hear some sort of irregularity in your heartbeat. I suggest you get it checked out immediately before something dire happens.

man/woman: Say what?

me: Seriously, I could hear it. It's going like an angry train on a bumpy rail track.

man/woman: That's a really specific metaphor. Your metaphors are an equal balance of humorous and informative aspects.

me: Thank you. Wait, stop trying to get off topic.

Though I imagine being plagued constantly with the slowing sounds of heartbeats... which seems rather depressing. I'll go with teleportation.

Weird Teenager (A brief, inconclusive analysis on how it's a justifiable excuse for heightened feelings with a slightly depressing end).

I am part of the younger human species more commonly identified as 'teenagers'. Now, this word is commonly associated with stereotypical characteristics such as having LOTS OF SEX AND DRUGS. However, I am unfortunately not within that scope of stereotype but rather in the SOCIALLY AWKWARD end of the spectrum.

 I guess the teen years are quite a muddled up, dodgy area in terms of a general, definitive time of a person's life; on one hand there's some sort of worldwide consensus that this is the time where you do what you want because you're young. But on the other is the feeling of not belonging completely as we've just passed the childhood/adolescence stage and not quite reached full adulthood. Of course, this is also varying from individual perspectives: there was a time when what we now considered children were working or when it was common to be married by 13 years old... (*coughRomeoandJuliet*)

There's also the idea of "maturity" in context of how an individual reacts to certain situations such as  being given an opportunity for a penis joke (I can't think of one right now due to my extreme maturity, this is too hard.)

One of the few perks about this is that being part of the 'teens' within the human species means that it is assumed to be a valid excuse for almost everything. Things like hitting puberty, brain development, hormonal changes etc. caters for a majority of our behaviour. Being 'rebellious' or having our walls covered with One Direction posters --though would normally be seen a socially unacceptable/weird-- is assumed to be a product of our biology.

 These sort of things make me wonder... if things that I feel extreme about such as my current state of being, the people I like are just a rush of serotonin or dopamine or oxytocin

...would dissipate just as quickly as they appear.

IBELIEVE I CAN FLY.jpg

This image is saved in my computer as "IBELIEVE I CAN FLY.jpg", triptych 2012

In photography we are give the FREEDOM to choose a theme for our Personal Project. While this is an incredible opportunity to unleash monstrous creativity, I find myself struggling to pick a theme. I was too conscious and worried about how interesting I wanted to make it that I neglected to do any work or shooting which could inspire me. Thus I settled for a generic, "Escape from reality: exploring the boundaries between dreams and realities". How cheesy. 

 Again, I struggle to find a concept or appropriate media to approach this. The harder I try to push myself into thinking of what to do, the crappier my ideas get. 

Struggles. 

The girl who randomly stopped in the pavement. (Several hypotheses about a girl who stopped walking.)

(*I'm not sure if 'hypotheses' is the right word, apparently it's supposed to be a testable statement. Maybe it is testable. Wait, my story.)

I trekked through the thick, cold morning air with puffs of smoke acoompanying each exhale. I was particularly out of breath due to the heaviness of the bag in my shoulder and/or my general physical unfitness. I haven't quite made a concrete conclusion on whether or not I liked these morning walks, but I am too socially awkward to pay the price of having random people breathing down my neck in the bus for the bliss of trading my 25 minute walk to a 10 minute ride.

 As I made my way to a crossing there was a girl walking in front of me. It was a quiet and almost empty morning with nothing but a few students making their way to school with their parents and their strollers full of babies who they will then walk to school in a few years. I must say I do not randomly observe people (that's a complete lie) because it is creepy and wrong and stuff. I was a little (another lie, I was extremely) behind her when she stopped and randomly stared at the wall.

 (perhaps she was observing the lichens).

This odd behaviour caught my attention and I was then fascinated by this girl who was fascinated with something on the wall. As I neared her, I tried to subtly turn to the wall to see what she was looking at but she turned back into walking again and crossed the road with me.


Here are a few hypotheses on what happened:

1) She has anxiety over crossing roads and cannot do it by herself.

2) She didn't want to hassle the lollipop man by crossing by herself, thus waited for another party to go along with.

3) That wall was just really interesting.

4) She forgot where she was going, so she stopped and drew a mental map on the wall and realised it was just straight ahead.

5) She's crazy.

If you have any suggestions in terms of hypotheses, please let me know.

(I think I kind of covered most of them though.)

(Be creative.)

Stuck.

One of the subjects I am currently taking in school is Photography. This doesn't necessarily provoke looks of awe and amazement when I tell people this is one of my subjects, but I don't really care enough about the general approval of others to be too bothered. And I like getting time to explore something that interests me outside of the general academics (although I often make statements of utter hatred towards it from time to time.)

 I think it's something that happens to a lot of people at some point... being hit by that feeling of being stuck. I don't mean 'stuck' in a literal, physical sense but rather in terms of how we are in our current state as a human being.

 I kind of feel like I am stuck at the moment. This is a dilemma as a student and human being; being stuck could mean that I will fall behind and wither along with my hopes and dreams (lots of positivity in this blog post). So I will do what my slightly neurotic nature feels I should and make a list.

(Possible) Reasons on why I am stuck:

- There are so many things to do.
For me, essentially, this just means I am not organised enough. Though even if I devise an action plan for myself, when I concentrate on one thing I feel bad for neglecting the others and end up concluding that it's only fair to neglect everything equally.

- I'm afraid to fail.
Ironically.

- I'm lazy.

- I have self-destructive tendencies.

How to not be stuck/ make yourself less stuck/ wiggle yourself out of being stuck:

-Start something and complete it.

...Like a blog post.

(see what I did there?... if not you never will)

The Super Secret Comic Book Store. (It's not really)

I once roamed this world with a dream. Well, not exactly a dream-- more of a tiny hope somewhere in my subconscious. I've always wanted to find a secret place. To define a secret place in the most eloquent manner, it is a place that is awesome because it has awesome stuff-- but it's a secret.

 This tiny hope was reinforced by years of subliminal media influence: I've watched a majority of The Big Bang Theory characters going down to the cool comic book shop and the characters from Friends hanging out in their low key café. Therefore, it was all clear for me. I wanted to find a secret place. As I think about this right now, I realise how insignificant and not life altering this is but it was finally fulfilled today.

 My friend and I stumbled upon a little yellow sign peeking out, with a picture of Clark Kent during one of our too-early-in-the-morning-photography-time. The adventure-seeking hooligans that we are, we decided to enter it.

Lo and behold. As we finally figured out the sign at the door said 'pull' instead of 'push' the welcoming warmth succumbed and forcefully dragged us into the holy grail of comic books. There were shelves of old and new editions. The prices were at least 1/4th how they are sold from the bookshops I've previously encountered.

The people who work there are cool and do not follow you around with blinding enthusiasm. They have tattoos and piercings on their cheek and don't feel the need to give you a receipt because they're too cool for receipts.

A Rant (about the lack of life-value in Hollywood films)

So, I am currently watching "Taken" with Liam Neeson (you know, the one where he has a specific set of skills). This film taught me 2 things : 1) Don't kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter and 2) In the event of a car shootout, to prevent the enemy from getting in the car and driving away, shoot their wheels.

 However, there is this recurring, hypocritical statement throughout the film that makes me want to stop watching. If this makes me stop watching a film, then I would probably just stop watching films or television in general.

 As in most Hollywood films, there is a hierarchy of life importance. Right at the top is the protagonist's, followed closely by their love ones (family or... romantic interests). This film constantly reminds us of how important this guy's daughter is to him and even started with an old tape of her being all happy in her 5th birthday. Awesome. She's at the top of the life importance hierarchy. But in Liam Neeson's (rather his character's) quest to save his daughter-- this important person-- he kills A SHIT LOAD OF PEOPLE.

 I know. It's a film. They aren't actually dead. It's just irritating. In some parts, the antagonists are shown as complete one-dimensional assholes to provoke an audience response of "Fuck yeah! Kick their ass, Liam Neeson! (or Liam Neeson's character.)"

 I see what you did there.

But I remember watching a scene where he just shot this guy's wife on the arm-- she wasn't doing anything, she was just sitting there! And she cooked for him too! That wasn't nice, Liam Neeson ('s character)!

I will admit, I am currently ill so my mind is swimming. And I've taken some of that weird anti flu "medicine" which taste like poison.

Maybe next time I'll rewrite this more eloquently.

(Haha. No I won't.)