IBELIEVE I CAN FLY.jpg

This image is saved in my computer as "IBELIEVE I CAN FLY.jpg", triptych 2012

In photography we are give the FREEDOM to choose a theme for our Personal Project. While this is an incredible opportunity to unleash monstrous creativity, I find myself struggling to pick a theme. I was too conscious and worried about how interesting I wanted to make it that I neglected to do any work or shooting which could inspire me. Thus I settled for a generic, "Escape from reality: exploring the boundaries between dreams and realities". How cheesy. 

 Again, I struggle to find a concept or appropriate media to approach this. The harder I try to push myself into thinking of what to do, the crappier my ideas get. 

Struggles. 

The girl who randomly stopped in the pavement. (Several hypotheses about a girl who stopped walking.)

(*I'm not sure if 'hypotheses' is the right word, apparently it's supposed to be a testable statement. Maybe it is testable. Wait, my story.)

I trekked through the thick, cold morning air with puffs of smoke acoompanying each exhale. I was particularly out of breath due to the heaviness of the bag in my shoulder and/or my general physical unfitness. I haven't quite made a concrete conclusion on whether or not I liked these morning walks, but I am too socially awkward to pay the price of having random people breathing down my neck in the bus for the bliss of trading my 25 minute walk to a 10 minute ride.

 As I made my way to a crossing there was a girl walking in front of me. It was a quiet and almost empty morning with nothing but a few students making their way to school with their parents and their strollers full of babies who they will then walk to school in a few years. I must say I do not randomly observe people (that's a complete lie) because it is creepy and wrong and stuff. I was a little (another lie, I was extremely) behind her when she stopped and randomly stared at the wall.

 (perhaps she was observing the lichens).

This odd behaviour caught my attention and I was then fascinated by this girl who was fascinated with something on the wall. As I neared her, I tried to subtly turn to the wall to see what she was looking at but she turned back into walking again and crossed the road with me.


Here are a few hypotheses on what happened:

1) She has anxiety over crossing roads and cannot do it by herself.

2) She didn't want to hassle the lollipop man by crossing by herself, thus waited for another party to go along with.

3) That wall was just really interesting.

4) She forgot where she was going, so she stopped and drew a mental map on the wall and realised it was just straight ahead.

5) She's crazy.

If you have any suggestions in terms of hypotheses, please let me know.

(I think I kind of covered most of them though.)

(Be creative.)

Stuck.

One of the subjects I am currently taking in school is Photography. This doesn't necessarily provoke looks of awe and amazement when I tell people this is one of my subjects, but I don't really care enough about the general approval of others to be too bothered. And I like getting time to explore something that interests me outside of the general academics (although I often make statements of utter hatred towards it from time to time.)

 I think it's something that happens to a lot of people at some point... being hit by that feeling of being stuck. I don't mean 'stuck' in a literal, physical sense but rather in terms of how we are in our current state as a human being.

 I kind of feel like I am stuck at the moment. This is a dilemma as a student and human being; being stuck could mean that I will fall behind and wither along with my hopes and dreams (lots of positivity in this blog post). So I will do what my slightly neurotic nature feels I should and make a list.

(Possible) Reasons on why I am stuck:

- There are so many things to do.
For me, essentially, this just means I am not organised enough. Though even if I devise an action plan for myself, when I concentrate on one thing I feel bad for neglecting the others and end up concluding that it's only fair to neglect everything equally.

- I'm afraid to fail.
Ironically.

- I'm lazy.

- I have self-destructive tendencies.

How to not be stuck/ make yourself less stuck/ wiggle yourself out of being stuck:

-Start something and complete it.

...Like a blog post.

(see what I did there?... if not you never will)